Starfish Alumni 2010

Planning versus Peace

I just read "Jesus Calling" and it SO fits today and my recent prayers.  We are waiting on one last form to be able to send our dossier to China (DTC) and then receive a log-in-date (LID) so that we may be matched with our daughter.  The form is the I800A and is presently at the US govt office....it takes up to 3 months to receive "approval."  I keep looking at Rumor Queen (www.chinaadopttalk.com) at all of the charts and scouring the dates.....what is the median time, the maximum time for approval, or notice, is there anyone else near my dates who has received the information I am so ready to see in my mailbox?  Then, I can make guesses like "if I have my I800a approval by _____, then my DTC may be _____, and our LID ____....you can see the trend.  OBSESSION.  I have been praying that I will use RQ only to glean information as there are so many incredible topics and tips, to support and receive support from others in the same boat as me, but NOT to fixate on it!

So, today, I read Jesus Calling:
You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning:  attempting to control what will happen to you in the future.....Just when you think you have prepared for all possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion.
Bring Me all your needs, hopes, and fears.  Commit everything into My care.  Turn from the path of planning to the path of peace.


At the end I fully expected it to say EVE.  This is hard for me...I am a planner.  From 5th grade on I planned to go to medical school.  William and I carefully planned the timing of our wedding to revolve around medical board exams.  I planned for Alex, and for Ben, and while planning for Jack, "got" Jack.  I wanted to adopt several years ago, but William was not ready, and God said no. Plan thwarted for the time being, but he had a plan.
I like being in control, but I realize more and more that this does not bring me PEACE.  It does bring me anxiety, tension, stress, hopeless feelings, and grumpiness, which then spills over to my family.  That is not what God wants for me....he offers PEACE.  I know that HE knows who is at the end of our red thread in China...who our daughter is, where she is, and when we will meet her....it IS in HIS control, and I am so thankful for that.  I just have to remind myself by whispering (or shouting!) JESUS when I forget.

I Peter 5: 6-7  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.


Proverbs 16: 9  In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.


Psalm 37: 5  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this.


Love,
Eve

Empowered to Connect Conference

Do you work with kids, live with kids, ever spend any time with children?  Have you ever read "The Connected Child" by Dr. Karyn Purvis?  She came to Nashville this weekend along with Michael and Amy Monroe from Tapestry Ministry to lead an Empowered to Connect conference.  Show Hope sponsored the event and it was WONDERFUL!  Although it is "geared" to adoptive children or foster children, their principles apply to EACH and every kid I know.  We talked about how to achieve secure attachment with our kids, and to promote TRUST by EMPOWERING, CONNECTING, and CORRECTING.  One of the things that really got me was when Dr. Purvis asked which do you do more of every day....connecting or correcting.  You know, my husband and I chose for me to leave my pediatric practice and become a stay-at-home Mom about 3 years ago.  Best decision for our family we have ever made.  BUT, lately, with three busy boys and a busy schedule, I have found myself CORRECTING more than CONNECTING.  I have been practicing an avoidant attachment with my kids....go to your room until you can come back to the family and be nice, instead of teaching them AS a family to come to a resolution...redo and resolve.

What are the goals when we discipline our kids?  How does what we do know and the parenting we practice affect our relations with our kids when they are teens?  I liked and very much agree with her thoughts that when discipline is "over" we want corrected behavior, contentment in the caregiver and child, and a deepened connection between the two.  Aren't we created to love?  to touch, to talk, to share?  To feel connected to God and to each other?  TRUST is so much......

Check out the website :  www.empoweredtoconnect.org and www.child.tcu.edu when you have time.  And read her book.  It is available on Amazon....

Love,

Eve

Starfish Babies that Need a HOME!

I wanted to advocate for these sweet Starfish babies from the Starfish Foster Home.  They have been on the shared list for a LONG time, and if you would like more information on one of them, please contact me.  I met Jack and Callum when we were at Starfish two years ago.  Jack has an amazing spirit for life and a laugh that makes you giggle too.  He is a smart boy and LOVES his new wheelchair.  Callum is a big boy who has come so far the past year.   Here is some more information on them...

Jack:  Jack is two and a half years old and has such a sparkling personality.  He really is the life of the party. He loves people and will let any one hold him.  He is smart and his CHinese is coming along so well.  He asks for anything he wants to eat and his favorite is M&M's but her also loves Cheerios.  He was born with Spina bifida and at birth his legs were already paralyzed.  He had surgery at about two months for the SB and later got s Shunt for his hydrocephalus.  He was recently given a wheel chair and at the end of day one he was navigating it around the house.

JACK

Callum:  He has got the best laugh and he plays really well with his friend Lucas. He will be three at the end of the year. He is such a handsome little guy and loves to Telebubbies and dances to them often.  He is very affection and loves being hugged.He likes to go outside and play on the slide.  He loves eating M&M's.  He was born with Spina bifda and a clubfoot.  He got emergency surgery when the sack started leaking and later had surgery for his foot.  He walks with a little limp and is probably doing to need more surgery on his foot.

CALLUM

Tristan:  He very seldom cries and is just a happy little boy.  He has got the best smile which he uses often.  He turned two recently.  He loves going outside in the stroller.  He had surgery for his spina bifida in Hong Kong and has gotten so much stronger in the time he has been in Starfish.  He was born with clubfeet and will hopefully have surgery for that in October. In the meantime he is pulling himself up on his feet and it looks like he wants to walk. He is really smart and some have said that he is so independent.

TRISTAN

James:  James is a double cleft lip and palate baby.  He is the most unique little boy because he just loves foreigners and will play with them more than our Chinese volunteers.  He loves music and will play with anything that makes a noise.  He loves clapping his hands to the music.  His favorite is a toy piano and loves the drums.  James' lip was repaired by Dr Lisa Buckmiller and a few weeks ago he had his palate repaired.

JAMES

Please pray for these precious boys and spread the word to whomever you can!  They need to get OFF of the shared list and INTO a home!!

Love,

Eve

Patience...Waiting...

Grrr.  Our last home study visit was over a month ago.  I had ALL of my paperwork prepared and turned in then...and I am still WAITING on the final copy of the home study to send in for our government papers.  Yes, I realize that I am not using the same agency for the home study as for the placement, and this does add a bit of time, but I just did not anticipate waiting THIS LONG for it!!  I realize that there is a LOT of hurry up and wait with the adoption process, but had not accounted for it now.
So, trying to be patient, and to use this time to listen to God...to keep my shield on as Satan tries to fight against this child coming home....and to trust.  He has a plan for us, and for this precious little one that He is protecting.  I knew my most trying part of the process would be the WAITING that is not in my control. It is a hard place for me, an uncomfortable zone, but maybe that is just where Jesus wants me to be right now.  Maybe is waiting there.....waiting for me.....
Praying for an open heart...

Eve

Jack's New Buzz Cut

All smiles

looking in the mirror

Looks like Alex from the back!

So much Hair!

SO PROUD!

Looks like Anakin when he became a JEDI!

Jack has wanted a buzz cut for the last 2 months, ever since Alex got one.  He decided that YESTERDAY was the day...since kindergarten is starting next week.  He wanted a 'BIG BOY' hair cut.  So, here you go.  I did not cry, and am very impressed with his courage to COMPLETELY change his look.  He is very handsome and very BIG looking!

Love,

Eve

Beach Trip 2010

We just returned from a lovely trip to the beach.  Last year we went two times with our good friends the R family to Santa Rosa and just loved it.  We both like going on the 4 day weekend trips instead of the week long ones (which is really good for all of the fair complexions in my house!).  BUT, due to additions in the R family and the horrible oil spill, we decided to try out the East Coast this year and headed for Hilton Head!  The boys did so well on the way there...we were stuck in traffic for a bit, but managed to only stop twice.  They are such troopers!  We stayed in a hotel in Hilton Head since the prices were a little high for us (in saving mode, baby!) and let's just say that we won't stay there again.  The R's were on the other side of the place, so we were really disjointed in our meals and plans....but, we made the best of it (again, the boys were so excited to be in a hotel...it gave me a huge encouragement that they will do well when we all get to go to China!), and BOY DID WE LOVE THE BEACH!
The weather was perfect!  My boys swam in the water most of the time...(thank you swim team!).

 Jack was in the water over 4 hours everyday, getting thrown in the air and swimming back to William.  He loved it but it made me a nervous wreck!

 Ben, my animal lover, found starfish, crabs, sand dollars....all kinds of treasures that were all safely released back to the ocean at the end of the day.

 And Alex showed us his continued perseverance as he fished for HOURS....and actually caught about 7 fish.....maybe 5mm big, but man!  He was determined :)

We had so much fun at night eating with the R's and just bonding. It is such a BLESSING to be able to travel together and have all of the kids get along....just a wonderful time.
On the way there, William spotted a beautiful full rainbow that we could see for miles of driving...and it even had white birds flying across.  It was so stunning, I did not even try to capture a photo....just a wonderful memory and vision of GOd's love shining on us.  AND, when we got home, a few days later, we received our HOME STUDY draft! I have been waiting on this since July 20!  There are a few things that need to be altered, but.....woo hoo!  One small step closer!

Thinking about that red thread tonight.....

Love,
Eve