Mushy Mom night

I have a book about special quotes from mothers to sons, and I just love it. One of my friends has 4 boys and 2 girls, and also enjoys reading this book. Today our boys played outside on a water slide, and it was so fun to watch them through the window. Boys seem to take about 20 or 30 minutes to "figure out" how to play nicely--a few shoves then a few warnings from Mom, a few trials of king of the mountain then a few warnings, then all of a sudden the pecking order has been established and they can just PLAY. I love the chaos and activity that children bring---my experience at home is just with boys, but the laughter and joy a child brings into the house is one of God's greatest gifts in my opinion. I love the honest phrases (Mommy, is that another baby in your tummy? Well, no dear....), the good morning hugs, the one more book at bedtime procrastination, the fact that they will come down dark halls at night to our room just for comfort; I cherish the happy songs (you do know that screaming is a beautiful form of music, right??), the way they "politely" say "I don't want dinner, I want snack, Please!," the way they pray for a friend's grandmother who has cancer, or are willing to give up their birthday presents to donate to a baby in China who needs help. I LOVE watching my three stand up for each other, fight and make up with one another, and protect one another. I am so thrilled that my boys have a sensitive side. Jack, my 3 year old, is always concerned about where the Mommies and Daddies are.So, if we are reading Thomas the Train, he wants to know where is Thomas's mommy and daddy? At his young age, he KNOWS that everyone and everything should have parents. He already knows this is how you love. You need a Mommy and a Daddy to be there, to cheer you on, to wipe your tears, to have when you are scared at night, to discipline you and teach you right from wrong, to pray for you, and with you, and to teach you about God and His love, and to just BE THERE, wherever, whenever. As adults, we tend to get so busy. Our jobs, our chores, our errands, our kids activites....the list goes on and on, but we get so busy we do not notice the beauty and love around us. We take for granted the screaming 'song' (be quiet! ), or get annoyed at night when our kids come down (guilty as charged!), but these are the gifts God has given us---I know I overlook the beauty around me at times....until I stop, I pray, I listen, and I hear. Children are our future...and they all need a Mommy and a Daddy to guide them there.
From the book "Mother to Son: Shared Wisdom from the Heart" by Melissa and Harry Harrison:

At times, you will be blown away by the depth of your love for him.
Realize that from day one, he's wired to be self-reliant. Don't change that.
You'll remember his laughter at this age forever.
Right around the age of 3, he will heroically start to think he is your protector. This never goes away.
Don't forget: Praise is contagious. So is criticism.
Tell him he had a great game, even if there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. He just needs to hear you say it.
Remember , boys show their affection by wrestling, pushing, and bumping into one another.
Teach him to be kind.
As wild as they might be, little boys need hugs and security. So do big ones.
He will idolize his dad.
Give him a Valentine's Day Card every year. He'll say i's corny, but secretly he'll always look forward to it!
Talk to him often about God's grace and he'll grow up seeing it.
Don't tolerate meanness.
Make sure his home is a haven of love and peace.
Tell yourself, "He's not angry, he's not an alien, he's not mental. He's just 13."
Keep kissing him goodnight, even if he does not kiss back.
Teach him how he can earn your respect: always speaking the truth, keeping his grades up, treating all family memberswith kindness, doing his chores, and seeking to serve others.
Hold him accountable for his actions.
If you are constantly criticizing him, something is wrong. With you.
Teach him that sharing what he has is one of the keys to happiness.
Treat him like the man you want him to become.
Tell him you will always love him.
He will tell you that you're the best mom in the world.
Hug him fiercely.
Let him go.

LOVE. GUIDANCE. SHARING. FAITH. HOPE. All children need them. I am grateful what my boys have taught me! Tomorrow, stop, pause, and look for the beauty God has placed around you. It is everywhere...we only have to look.

Love,
Eve

Star Wars....a first

Yep, that is right. Tonight, my oldest is watching Star Wars (the version I grew up with) for the first time. He is stoked, to say the least. He took a nap today just to be able to stay up late with Daddy to watch. We are getting ready for his next birthday. They grow up so fast. Some days seem long when Alex and Ben are at each other, and Jack is yelling, but the other 98% of the days fly by. School starts in less than 3 weeks! I am really sad....we have had a fun summer! The boys are excited,though, and are eager to get back.
I have struggled today with a baby in China who needs a foster family to take him in for a few weeks in Hangzhou. He needs heart surgery soon but needs to "beef up" before then. I have contacted many people that I know in China hoping that someone will know someone who will know someone, but no word yet. This baby has survived 5 months in an orphanage, and needs to not go back, EVER! My devotional today reads "You can find Me not only in beauty and birdcalls, but also in tragedy and faces filled with grief. I can take the deepest sorrow and weave it into a pattern for good." SO , my prayer tonight is for sweet Nicholas, that a foster family will be found...it is in His control.
Love,
Eve

I am Somebody!

What a week! It has been really nice to have an entire week with no camps, no schedules, but lots of swimming and enjoying the kids playing together upstairs (plus/minus a few screams every now and then!). On Sunday, our team presented at one of the Sunday school classes to talk and share about our trip. Shannon and I worked on a power point slide show, and Trent, Beverly, Claire, Mary, Shannon and I all shared some about the trip. We had a great turnout, and several people talked to me afterwards. As for me, I LOVED looking at the pictures. Every time I looked, I noticed something I had not noted before. A sparkle in an eye, a tear on the face, one child helping another. Honestly, I could have continued to load pictures on power point and looked all day. The children at Hohhot haunt me. I cannot get them out of my head (wonder who is doing that?!) As we are home, and processing everything, my desires to help them with basic life skills, and potentially to learn a trade so they can work are growing. Few, if any, of the older kids will be adopted, and only 100 have been adopted from there in the last 9 years...so, are they stuck living in a social welfare institute the rest of their lives? Some of the kids are mentally capable of working and living on their own, but they need guidance, teaching and help to do so. My goal over the next 3 or 4 years would be to help integrate a "class" at the orphanage to teach some of these things, like how to wash yourself, how to clean laundry, how to cook...to give the kids that are able options. I realize some may choose to remain in the institute because it is home, and the only home they have known, but I want them to have the option...How to go about this will take time, and planning. I recently read a quote ( I am a huge quote person!) that really struck a cord with me. It is from an unknown person: " I wondered why somebody didn't DO something. Then I realized I am Somebody." if we sit back and wait, things will never get done. Life will pass us by before we know it. Life is meant to be LIVED, not observed. We are ALL Somebody; but, we just need to know what gifts we have to help. We are ALL Somebody, that by working together, we can make a difference. Please, when you go to bed tonight, take time to look in the mirror and ask yourself, really ask yourself, "What kind of Somebody am I, and What kind of Somebody can I be?" Pray about it, pray that your gifts are made obvious to you. You are Somebody!!


I am also praying for Nicholas, the new baby at Starfish who needs heart surgery this week. He is frail, and has to travel with Amanda to get to the hospital. Alex has selected him to sponsor, and is quite attached to his photos. We are also opening up sponsorship of Amanda's babies at church again, which I know can make a difference for many. Please pray he will have a good outcome after surgery!

There have been a lot of amazing meetings around Nashville the last few days with regards to a potential medical mission trip. I will write about this soon, but please read about the Morning Sun Center for HOPE on my site!

Love,
Eve

What a hot week for soccer camp! The boys had a great time, and were really pleased at the fun they had! I love the rosy cheeks and big grins, even though my little guy was not too thrilled the first few days. He "turned it around" as we like to say by the end of the week and really had a blast!

What is impossible?

I have now been back over two weeks....things seem back to "normal," and my youngest is now back to telling me "Go away" which is his trademark for "I love you but I am independent!" Our team has been meeting and emailing to prepare for an upcoming Sunday school class where we will share the details of our trip, and discuss Our Covenant's Call ministry. It has been very rewarding. cathartic, the beginning of processing what our trip was about, whatever word you would like to choose, it has been great! We are making a slide show and Shannon and I have been sending back and forth ideas and emails. As I look over each of the pictures, it takes me back to Hohhot, back to those who have no voice for them. Their eyes each have a huge story locked behind them, full of loss, pain, emptiness, loneliness, hunger for love....yet their eyes still have HOPE. Hope that they will find safety in their orphanage, hope that they can get an education, hope that we will be back in that yellow bus the next day, hope that the new orphanage will have heat, hope that they will find love in a forever family. Some of us might think it would be impossible for us to have hope in that situation....alone, uncertain of why you are in this place, wondering why your parents left you, what will you do next? Is there a next, and if there is, is it better than what is in the now? How can one face these questions and still have HOPE? Only by love from above....watching over them closely. I read a quote by Hudson Taylor before the trip but now understand it even more, " I have found that there are three stages in every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done." After the first day at the orphanage, we thought it was impossible, but we were wrong. We came away from Hohhot in agreement that we should go back......so, what is impossible? It would be impossible to NOT go back and look these kids in the eyes again and say we came back....to be with you and to treasure YOU. You are important to us, and you are NOT impossible to love. When I look my children in the eyes, and see their wonder, love and HOPE, I want them to know everyday, every minute just how much they are loved, how important they are, and how loving they can be, and this is something I believe every child should have. It is NOT an impossible hope from me. As I have said before, we can all do SOMETHING. Please think and pray about it. HOPE.

Love,
Eve

Pictures from Day 2 Hohhot

Definitely user error with the pictures "disappearing." I will blog this weekend, and try to get more consistent soon as normal life resumes...that seems like an oxymoron after the mission trip we had. More to come soon.

Re-do Happy Faces from Birthday Party

I wanted to update the pictures from the Hohhot birthday party. This is where each of the children received a new outfit, pair of shoes, fruit, cake, and a backpack that they had decorated. It was nice to see some of the children smile for the first time, like this little girl at the bottom of the pictures. She and Catherine bonded, and she ate so much watermelon that it brought smiles to her face! Of course, it made it really hard for us to leave right after this, and say good-bye, not knowing at that time when we might return.

More Happy Faces from the Hohhot Birthday Party (Last Day)

Last of Day 2 Hohhot

More re-do from Day 2 Hohhot

Redoing "We found Joy" Day 2 at Hohhot

I have glanced back over my blog and realized that for some reason, several of the pictures did not "stay." I am not certain if this was technical error or not, but would consider that the most likely cause. So, I am going back to bring you those pictures again. This was day 2 in the orphanage, and was the Tuesday we were so hesistant to walk back in those doors. It was also one of our most favorite days. Here you see some of the kids from the craft room we set up and from the music room--note how even a simple baby rattle brought smiles!

Why Can't I Sleep?

Tomorrow night will mark the one week date of returning from China. It has been a bit of a foggy week--getting back into a routine with the boys, and usual household chores, errands, exercise, etc. I have had a great time learning about the fun things the boys did while I was away, whether it was riding a ferryboat with Sugar, riding on a tractor with Grandad, or touring the caverns with Maw and Papaw. They all had a blast! The boys have shared their events, and we have done playdates, swimming pool trips, bike rides, reading time, etc, AND I STILL CANNOT SLEEP at night. Well, if I use a sleep "aid" I can sleep---without moving much. But, even when I feel as if my eyes cannot remain open one more second, as soon as I lay down, it is toss and turn....11 pm, 12:15 am, 1 am, 3 am, 3:45 am, and so on. My thoughts? They are all on Hohhot and some of the children there. How are they? Do they still think of us? Did they have enough to eat today? What could we have done differently? Why did we not do this, or that? How is the boy who loved to pick up for us? How is the sweet girl in the wheelchair? I make lists in my head of how we can do things next year...Next year. Words I thought I would never utter otu of my mouth after that first Monday there. When we met in our hotel room that night for devotional, most of us were not certain we wanted there to be a next DAY at the orphanage, let alone a next year. Funny thing...that is when we started to realized that this trip was in God's control and not ours. Not our trip to enjoy and plan perfectly (for those of us planners out there). He pulled us out of our safe and predictable lives here and forced us into a seemingly uncomfortable "adventure." Why? Well, to open our hearts to love these children, the "least of the least," to learn to see past their "flaws' at the beauty within....to learn to not impose our expectations, hopes, and ideals onto China and its culture, but to love China how we can. He held up a mirror to us to show us OUR flaws, our limitations and imperfections, altogether present and huge, though not as physically obvious as say the childrens. He put us together as a group to bend and break together, and then to pull together as the body is meant to do, to support each other as we learn how much God is in control. I felt like on the trip, God guided our every move--there were so many "signs," and just amazing ways that things came together that only HE could do. When I cannot sleep, I miss this. In my "busy" life here, it is all too easy to push aside prayer time, or to stop and enjoy the details of life that are carefully orchestrated. I try to control here, with th boys, the laundry, the plans of the day, what works best for me....which may be why I cannot sleep, or REST. In China, I was forced to rest in Him....and it was good.
Tonight, I will set aside time for me, for prayer with and without my kids, to focus on His presence. He is as here as he was in China, if I only let him be, by letting me be.
I noticed on the site some pictures have disappeared, and will try to get those back on soon.
Love,
Eve

Fourth of July---back at home

Jack, Alex and Ben with our flag cake

Alex at the fireworks show

Jack and William watching the show

A glimpse of the "ooh, aah..."

We are Home---the "re-entry" process

We are back! We came home late on the 30th, almost missing our flight in Chicago. But, after much stress and a few tears (and the grace of God and a really nice supervisor at American!), we made it onto the plane! I was so excited to see my boys. Ben and Alex ran under the security measures to hug me, while Jack (my little guy) hung back and just kept saying, "You're home, you're home!" After a late night Monday night, the last two days have been a bit crazed as we all try to get back on "central" time. No napping=not much patience. But, everyday it gets a little better and it is nice to be back at home. I have dreams at night of the children we encountered--their faces, the what-ifs, the why-nots.....it is very difficult to process all we experienced. Today's devotion speaks to the main idea we learned on our trip "IT IS NOT IN OUR (or MY) CONTROL." Trust Him, and His will be done. Not mine, but his. We saw this in Xi'an. William gave me a beautiful cross for my birthday/anniversary. I wore it everyday in China. When we arrived in Xi'an, we were staying at a high rise with 2 elevators. We unloaded our things, and then I looked down and saw something on the ground. When I picked it up, I discovered it was my chain that had been broken. The cross was no where in sight--not on the floor, in my clothes, no where!! Kristen went to check the hall--not there. She then checked the elevator, and it was still there, on the floor of the elevator, sparkling away. No one had touched it. We saw his will up to the last flight that we barely made--He wanted us home...His will be done.
One of my difficulties with this trip is how to answer the casual question "How was your trip?" I think we talked about this on an early post, but I still do not have a good answer. Challenging? Devastating? Wonderful? How to explain to others the love, the pain, the smells, the joy, the fear that we all saw and experienced? As I attempt to process in my mind what I am to do with these emotions, I feel my answer to this question will become clearer. I am very excited about what this trip did open for Our Covenant's Call ministry. We now have new, fresh ideas of how to REALLY help both in Hohhot and the Starfish Home. We want to work on a medical mission to reach many children in need of medical attention, and to help more children become adopted. We are meeting some in the next few weeks to discuss and sort out ideas, and will be presenting about our trip and new ideas at a Sunday school class July 20.
Now, my smallest "helper" is ready for attention...and I am so blessed to be able to give it to him!
Love,
Eve