Mixed Feelings

This week Florie turned 19 months old.....19 MONTHS OLD!  The boys were so excited thinking about her!  I am still hoping we will get to travel in late spring, so hopefully be there to get her in our arms around her 22 month "birthday."  That is THREE whole months away...three months of waiting....and then I think that is 12 WEEKS away..how quickly do 12 weeks go by with 3 boys at home?  I have some serious work to do in the next 12 weeks!!!

The other night my youngest son and I were talking about babies being born.  He wanted to know where Florie was born...yes, China.  Then he wanted to know HOW she was born, and to WHOM.  Even though we have talked in "general" about orphans, and how they become orphans through loss of their parents, extreme circumstances, poverty, etc, we had not talked SPECIFICALLY about Florie.  Their SISTER.....that they already love and pray for even though she is not HERE yet.  So, I talked to him...I want all four of my kids to be aware of Florie's beginnings, so we can all work together as a family to answer her questions when they come.  And, even though I have read how she became an orphan, I have not explained it to a young someone yet.   A young someone who developed the look of horror, and sadness, and shock on his face.  How could that be???  He knows she was an orphan, and we have worked to support and pray for orphans for years.  But, it just sank in with him.  The pain, the lonely, the hurt, the loss that Florie (and other orphans) all have.  And he didn't like it.  "It just isn't right, Mommy."

Since then, I have thought a lot about her birth parents....how did they make their decision?  I have a good guess as to why the decision was made, but who made it.....and who carried out the plan?  She was a little older when it happened, and was growing very well at the time as per her measurements.  She was well cared for, and well loved.  I can only imagine the heartbreak, the pain....the loss.  The "bravery" to leave her in an open place, where she would obviously be found.  The grief.  Day after day...the grief.  I pray for her birth parents...so they would know that she will be safe, she will have a family, and she will be TREASURED.  I pray for education for her country about specific special needs...what can I do to help educate so families will not be "broken."

I also grieve for Florie.  I grieve that she will one day have to process all of her beginnings.  She will have the questions I have, but to a millionth more degrees.  It just isn't right......that children have to be orphans, or homeless, or hungry.  When I think of my kids NOT having the circle of security of our family, or not having someone who cares....it breaks my heart.  My youngest wanted to know what would happen if every family adopted just one child....and I told him there would be NO MORE ORPHANS.  No child living in the dumps, no child having to prostitute themselves in order to eat, no babies who stop crying because no one can come or doesn't care if they cry.  They STOP CRYING!!!  Forever....not just for that moment.  I know adoption is not for everyone, but caring for orphans IS.  Everyone can do SOMETHING.  Pray, educate, donate, visit, volunteer, take meals or baby-sit friends who adopt, fundraise.  SOMETHING.

IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT




Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their 


names. 


They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.


It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold 


them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.


--David Platt Radical