Just some memorie

Shannon and Eve at the Great Wall

Little girl at Summer Palace

Cute boy from Hohhot who always smiled

Little boy from Hohhot who loved to dance

Not out the same oven

I cannot believe it is mid-September already! The school year is in full swing and the boys are all loving it (well, for the most part. mybe not so much the homework!). We have all 3 playing soccer which is fun but makes for long Saturdays. It will be a busy year---scouts, room parenting, soccer, school, the ministry....but that is the season God has me in now---the busy season of life. I love the busy Saturdays followed by Sunday to rest, and play. My boys had their giggle boxes turned on tonight....their laughter truly is one of the best sounds God ever made!!!

Our group that went on the Hohhot trip met earlier this month. We had a nice dinner at PF Changs (can you believe they do not offer CABBAGE? I would not have survived in China without all the cabbage!). It was wonderful to see everyone, and get caught up on the happenings in each other's lives. I asked if anyone had gone one day without thinking about the kids, or the trip. Most of us said NO.

I certainly have not. I have watched several adoptions from China (via blogs) recently and could see how the child's eyes changed over the course of the trip. You can learn a lot about a person by watching their eyes, their "window to the soul." These children who are adopted are being given a second chance---at life, at a family, at love. I found a new quote this week from a Yiddish proverb "Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough, but not baked in the same oven." The orphans, the many children in foster care---they came from the same dough that I did, but somewhere along the way, something got messed up, and most of the time, it had NOTHING to do with them! So, the child gets "discarded" as a bad bread...tossed in the trash, sometimes forgotten. They may go to an orphanage, or bounce from home to home in the foster system, all because of nothing they did. They are labeled the least of these, the "no help" ones, the forgotten ones. YET, they came from the same dough we did. They need a new oven, a gentle baker, to love them and give them life and hope. Not all of us are meant to be "bakers" ie to adopt or be foster parents. We are all called to help as we can. This is one of the rules William and I teach the boys, "Help when you can." How can I teach it unless I follow it as well? Helping others....just think if we all did this. The world would be a much better place to live.
I think of the kids I met in China everyday. They changed me from my perspective on life to the way I raise my children. Think about walking in their shoes for a minute. Maybe you lived with your parents until you were 4 or 5---having love, food, a family life. THEN, something happened and suddenly you were dropped off at a new place--with minimal attention, minimal food, no family, the same thing everyday. Even if your parents cried daily for you and missed you terribly, you have no way of knowing this and will likely never see them again. What would I be like? How would I respond, and would I ever trust again? But, you see these children who are given that second chance at love either by adoption, or by a foster home, or by a gentle nanny who takes that extra minute with them, and you see their eyes begin to light up again. The love slowly starts to show through, the trust starts to rebuild. To an outsider, you can see that their eyes were so hungry, so in need, so desirous of love. Once a helping hand is extended, the kids reach out and grab it (usually...I cannot write about the times it is not or I will end up crying and never finish the post!). There are orphans and foster kids around the world and in your backyard starving for love tonight...kids from the same dough as you, but just had a no good oven. How can YOU help them? It is a hard question we all should ask ourselves, and we should ALL have an answer.

Love,
Eve

They grow so fast

First day at bus stop

Ben's first bus ride with Alex in tow

Jack and his sea turtle

Time Flies When You are Having Fun

How is it already the end of August? What happened to summer,and the kids hanging out and playing at home? How are we already into the fifth test of third grade and Super Star days of kindergarten? Time is an amazing thing---in the blink of an eye, it moves SOO quickly. Other days it seems to go on and on forever. I look at my kids some days and think, "How big they are, so grown up, so mature." Then, I look again and realize they are still so young, so raw, still so eager to have independence but not really sure what to do with it. On my really "good mom" days I can see that most of the disagreements my oldest and I have are not about the problem at hand but about his change to a more independent kid. He trusts William and me more than anyone, so we get the brunt of his trying out new attitudes, new words, new phrases. I know this is a phase, but some days it is easier to handle than others. As odd as the wrapping appears, this is one of the gifts of parenting. You are driven to be a better person so you can be a better role model to your children. Patience, wisdom and discernment are the three things I pray for the most for me in dealing with the kids. As hard as it seems sometimes, and as frustrating as kids can be (like I find a rotten peach in a paper towel in the car seat pocket that everyone denies leaving there just as an example), parenting is an amazing, spectacular ride that is a blessing to enjoy. I listen to my friends with teenagers or kids who are at college who tell me over and over, "Enjoy every day----it goes by too quickly!" Somedays I want to freeze and hang on to forever, while others I want to fast forward and start anew the next day. All of them I am thankful to our Father for giving me. He is there on the good days and the bad days, and has a plan for every day. It all intertwines somehow. Some ways I see; others, not yet; but, I trust him and thank him for the gift of my boys. They challenge me everyday to live the gospel by showing grace ane mercy, hope and love. Some days are better than others, but, I always like a good challenge!

Love,
Eve

My devotional today....

So, after my post last night, I read my devotional today by Sarah Young. It reads for today:

"I am the God of all time and all that is. Seek Me not only in morning quietness but consisitently throughout the day. Do not let unexpected problems distract you from My Presence. Instead, talk with Me about everything, and watch confidently to see what I will do.

Adversity need not interrupt your communion with Me. When things go "wrong," you tend to react as if you are being punished. Instead of this negative response, try to view difficulties as blessings in disguis. Make Me your Refuge by pouring out your heart to Me, trusting in Me at all times."

Wow. Leap. Trust. Rest.

Love,
Eve

Alex's Party

Alex and Mommy

Ben Likes his cake!

Alex with the poster we made that the kids signed

The boys with Big B (great grandad), Sugar and Grandad

Leap...and a net will appear.

"Leap and a net will appear" is a Zen saying that I have on my refridgerator. It sounds awfully the same as "leap of faith" in the Christian world. When I first read it, I always think of BIG leaps (like going to China, having children, etc), but this week I have seen how it should be for all day, every day. Our leap of faith is what carries us from the moment we wake up to the second we fall asleep, and all of the time in between. Some think that faith is the hard part, but I think it is the "leaping" or better said the 'trusting and resting" in God that is hard. I have said many times since our mission trip that I do not FEEL God's presence back at home as much as I did on the trip. There, I truly felt like He guided us every step of the way. Over the last week at home, we have been BUSY---meetings, birthday party for Alex with family in town, first day of school, kindergarten assessments, DCS volunteer applications, just to name a few. With all of this scheduling, I realized that at home, I am a controller---who we see, when we go where, run errands now or later, meals at this time or that time. I decide. In China, I had no control. I had no car, no kitchen, no language....I was certainly NOT in control, and was WAY out of my zone of comfort, and I looked and prayed to God to lead me. I thought he was more visible to me there, but it was the opposite.....I was leaping to Him for my trust and rest. This week, my devotional reads over and over to take quiet time, to rest in Him and not on me. So I did. At home. In my scheduled world where every minute seems to count, I tried something new. I paused everyday, many times a day. On my morning runs, I looked at the sunrise and saw a cloud that was shaped like an angel with a trumpet, which turned into a peony flower, which turned into an arrow. I leapt (out of my comfort zone) from looking down and justgetting the run completed, to pausing, and I saw Him. In the car, when the boys are giggling or fighting or singing, I prayed short simple prayers like "help me, Holy Spirit." Brushing my teeth, taking a shower....I paused to look around me and give thanks to Him for what I have. I saw my son Alex at his birthday party be so generous to not ask for presents but for donations for Nicholas in China---when the time actually came, Alex was excited, gracious, and never once say "what do I get." I have made an effort to go outside at sunset and just be, to bask in the beauty of this Earth, and to note the glory around me. All of these pauses have steered me away from MY place of control back to Him. God is eveywhere, but since China, at times I have wondered where He was now. After this last week, I am certain He had been feeling the same about me. It is all to easy to not leap in our daily, scheduled lives....it takes up to much time, it is too trivial ,etc. But all of our daily leaps of faith draw us closer to our father. He is here. My self imposed blinders are off, my control has been adjusted, for now. I know this will be an ongoing battle as it is SO easy Not to pause, not to leap, not to rest, but this is not what we are called to do. We are called to LEAP, every minute of every day. LEAP. TRUST. REST. LOVE. HOPE. FAITH.

Also an update on Nicholas, he has had heart surgery in China and this was done more urgently that discussed in a previous post, so he did not go to foster care. It is amazing (hmmm) how many connections we were able to find for a possible foster home for him, even from way over here in the USA! He has stabilized since surgery, but has a long battle ahead. He is a fighter, but needs our prayers!

Leap. Now! :)

Love,
Eve