Leap...and a net will appear.

"Leap and a net will appear" is a Zen saying that I have on my refridgerator. It sounds awfully the same as "leap of faith" in the Christian world. When I first read it, I always think of BIG leaps (like going to China, having children, etc), but this week I have seen how it should be for all day, every day. Our leap of faith is what carries us from the moment we wake up to the second we fall asleep, and all of the time in between. Some think that faith is the hard part, but I think it is the "leaping" or better said the 'trusting and resting" in God that is hard. I have said many times since our mission trip that I do not FEEL God's presence back at home as much as I did on the trip. There, I truly felt like He guided us every step of the way. Over the last week at home, we have been BUSY---meetings, birthday party for Alex with family in town, first day of school, kindergarten assessments, DCS volunteer applications, just to name a few. With all of this scheduling, I realized that at home, I am a controller---who we see, when we go where, run errands now or later, meals at this time or that time. I decide. In China, I had no control. I had no car, no kitchen, no language....I was certainly NOT in control, and was WAY out of my zone of comfort, and I looked and prayed to God to lead me. I thought he was more visible to me there, but it was the opposite.....I was leaping to Him for my trust and rest. This week, my devotional reads over and over to take quiet time, to rest in Him and not on me. So I did. At home. In my scheduled world where every minute seems to count, I tried something new. I paused everyday, many times a day. On my morning runs, I looked at the sunrise and saw a cloud that was shaped like an angel with a trumpet, which turned into a peony flower, which turned into an arrow. I leapt (out of my comfort zone) from looking down and justgetting the run completed, to pausing, and I saw Him. In the car, when the boys are giggling or fighting or singing, I prayed short simple prayers like "help me, Holy Spirit." Brushing my teeth, taking a shower....I paused to look around me and give thanks to Him for what I have. I saw my son Alex at his birthday party be so generous to not ask for presents but for donations for Nicholas in China---when the time actually came, Alex was excited, gracious, and never once say "what do I get." I have made an effort to go outside at sunset and just be, to bask in the beauty of this Earth, and to note the glory around me. All of these pauses have steered me away from MY place of control back to Him. God is eveywhere, but since China, at times I have wondered where He was now. After this last week, I am certain He had been feeling the same about me. It is all to easy to not leap in our daily, scheduled lives....it takes up to much time, it is too trivial ,etc. But all of our daily leaps of faith draw us closer to our father. He is here. My self imposed blinders are off, my control has been adjusted, for now. I know this will be an ongoing battle as it is SO easy Not to pause, not to leap, not to rest, but this is not what we are called to do. We are called to LEAP, every minute of every day. LEAP. TRUST. REST. LOVE. HOPE. FAITH.

Also an update on Nicholas, he has had heart surgery in China and this was done more urgently that discussed in a previous post, so he did not go to foster care. It is amazing (hmmm) how many connections we were able to find for a possible foster home for him, even from way over here in the USA! He has stabilized since surgery, but has a long battle ahead. He is a fighter, but needs our prayers!

Leap. Now! :)

Love,
Eve