I cannot believe it! The paperchase is OVER. Our dossier is on its way to China.....we started the adoption "process" on July 5th with our homestudy agency, American World. Over the next 6 weeks, the boys were very patient as I collected papers, made emails, and ran errands to get the necessary items for our dossier (the pack of papers that basically tells our life story!). We paperchased in the midst of swim team, summer camp, birthday parties, soccer camp, running club and starting 5th, 2nd and kindergarten! We received our completed home study on August 26th and sent it off on August 27th for USCIS approval (from the Department of Homeland Security). William and I had to be fingerprinted again for this last step, and then we received our approval for that on October 6 (the letter actually came on October 12!). Then, it was off to Washington DC for the US Department of State and the Chinese Embassy for the last "stamps."
After I mailed it to our courier, The Assistant Stork, I emailed our agency BAAS (Bay Area Adoption Services) to find out anything else I would need to send with our dossier. I found out a few days later that our BAAS special needs coordinator was leaving for China on October 26, and would be gone until November 8 or so. She requested that we get our dossier to her to review before she left. Unfortunately, it took longer at the Embassy than expected, and I had lost hope that I could get it to BAAS by Monday, October 25. However (praise HIM!), our great courier was able to work with us and we got our dossier to BAAS yesterday. The SN coordinator reviewed it and has taken it to China WITH her to HAND DELIVER it this week! Thankfully, no more chances of being misplaced, lost, damaged :)
So, now we wait....for a LID (log-in-date) and then for the next shared lists to come out. I do not know when we will match....only God knows that and I fully trust Him for his timing. The boys are SO excited....they cannot wait to SEE her.....they have prayed for months that wherever she is, that she is warm, full, and loved. Ben prayed the other night that he knew his heart would smile so big when he finally gets to see HER face! (me too, sweet boy!).
So that is our BIG milestone....one of many, I know.....but it now feels so much more "real," tangible....
Love,
Eve
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Remembering our China Mission trip
I pulled this from our mission trip blog a few years ago. My friend Shannon wrote it and I just loved it...as a reminder of what the Good Samaritan REALLY is. I am doing the "empowered to connect" class by Dr. Karyn Purvis right now (please see her book THE CONNECTED CHILD if you are anywhere around adoption!) and we talked recently about being "good samaritans." What makes a person walk by others in pain? Is it because it will cost me time, or money? DO I not have the time? REALLY? Or is it because I have never suffered? WOuld I act differently if I had been in the shoes of the beaten down...the tired, the hurt.
When we went on this mission trip, we felt like Good Samaritans....but we quickly saw it was not us, but the children we encountered, who served this role. People tell me how "good" my family is for being "willing" to adopt.....but I think we will be the ones who are "lucky."
Please go reread Luke 10:28-37
I am the "expert in the law". I knew the commands and I came on this trip. I was ready to love certain neighbors but not these. The first day at the orphanage I asked my Savior "who is my neighbor". Father, forgive me.
I have seen the "beaten" and "half dead" and as a priest wanting to walk by thinking unclean, unclean. I have often had eyes that sees leipers not children. Father, forgive me.
And I have been the Levite. I am the one given Glorious knowledge and responsibilities. An opportunity to share the One. But I quickly cross the street as I look upon the broken, robbed, and oppressed. Father, forgive me.
Who is the Samaritan? By the grace of Him perhaps I have been at times and hopefully even more today. But I will tell you who the heroes are on this trip.
It is the hungry boy who walks by a group of more disabled children and quietly drops his bag of cheerioes on the floor so they can eat. He drops it unsuspectedly so that others wont rush in and take from the defenseless ones. The hungry feed the hungry.
The hero is the fatherless who lovingly tend to younger ones needs. They feed them, protect them, guide them and obviously love them. The fatherless parent the fatherless.
The hero is the child who gets a beloved lollipop and then is given a second one. What does he do with the second one? He gives it away. The poor give to the poor.
Last year's leader sent us an email and one of the most insightful and loving things she said to us is that we will discover that we are the ones with the disabilities, not the children. We agree.
When we went on this mission trip, we felt like Good Samaritans....but we quickly saw it was not us, but the children we encountered, who served this role. People tell me how "good" my family is for being "willing" to adopt.....but I think we will be the ones who are "lucky."
Please go reread Luke 10:28-37
I am the "expert in the law". I knew the commands and I came on this trip. I was ready to love certain neighbors but not these. The first day at the orphanage I asked my Savior "who is my neighbor". Father, forgive me.
I have seen the "beaten" and "half dead" and as a priest wanting to walk by thinking unclean, unclean. I have often had eyes that sees leipers not children. Father, forgive me.
And I have been the Levite. I am the one given Glorious knowledge and responsibilities. An opportunity to share the One. But I quickly cross the street as I look upon the broken, robbed, and oppressed. Father, forgive me.
Who is the Samaritan? By the grace of Him perhaps I have been at times and hopefully even more today. But I will tell you who the heroes are on this trip.
It is the hungry boy who walks by a group of more disabled children and quietly drops his bag of cheerioes on the floor so they can eat. He drops it unsuspectedly so that others wont rush in and take from the defenseless ones. The hungry feed the hungry.
The hero is the fatherless who lovingly tend to younger ones needs. They feed them, protect them, guide them and obviously love them. The fatherless parent the fatherless.
The hero is the child who gets a beloved lollipop and then is given a second one. What does he do with the second one? He gives it away. The poor give to the poor.
Last year's leader sent us an email and one of the most insightful and loving things she said to us is that we will discover that we are the ones with the disabilities, not the children. We agree.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
High School Reunion
This past weekend was my 20th high school reunion. I grew up in a small town in Arkansas where there was one junior high and one high school. It was a great place to live as a child. We rode bikes ALL over town, had three wheelers to cruise in open fields on, and lots of family nearby. It is a farming community, and sadly, one that has suffered over the past few years.
It was so fun to go back and see old friends...and also a good wake up call about how easy it is to let those important to us slip away slowly as we get caught up in our daily routines. I drove past friends' homes where we used to play outside and could still vividly remember the smell of Newport Lake where we would feed the ducks and swans, and hope that there were no snakes nearby. The smell of oil and tires always smells "comfortable" to me from my years of hanging around my Dad's farm. It is hard to go back and see the place where you once lived not faring so well...but it was wonderful to see all of my classmates, some teachers, family and old neighbors who are doing well. I hope to keep up better...to always call when we head back to Arkansas and try to set up time to visit. No more "maybe next time I will have more time!" The older I get, the more I can see that there is NEVER more time....unless you make it!
We surprised the boys on the way home with a long pit stop at the Memphis Zoo. We have never taken them there, and boy did they have fun! We saw wolves and grizzly bears, Gaboon Vipers, PANDA BEARS :), a sea lion show, a giraffe very up close and personal, and just had loads of fun! The boys were all tuckered out and had a great time, as did William and I. We were happy to get back home too, and get back into the groove.
SO, my dear high school friends, BEWARE. I will be hunting you down when we head back to AR!
Love,
Eve
Upstairs Hallway
Entrance to High School
It was so fun to go back and see old friends...and also a good wake up call about how easy it is to let those important to us slip away slowly as we get caught up in our daily routines. I drove past friends' homes where we used to play outside and could still vividly remember the smell of Newport Lake where we would feed the ducks and swans, and hope that there were no snakes nearby. The smell of oil and tires always smells "comfortable" to me from my years of hanging around my Dad's farm. It is hard to go back and see the place where you once lived not faring so well...but it was wonderful to see all of my classmates, some teachers, family and old neighbors who are doing well. I hope to keep up better...to always call when we head back to Arkansas and try to set up time to visit. No more "maybe next time I will have more time!" The older I get, the more I can see that there is NEVER more time....unless you make it!
Alex and Grandad at the farm
Jack tasting soybeans for "ready to harvest" taste
Grandad and Ben...picking all of the soybean crop!
We surprised the boys on the way home with a long pit stop at the Memphis Zoo. We have never taken them there, and boy did they have fun! We saw wolves and grizzly bears, Gaboon Vipers, PANDA BEARS :), a sea lion show, a giraffe very up close and personal, and just had loads of fun! The boys were all tuckered out and had a great time, as did William and I. We were happy to get back home too, and get back into the groove.
Jack pretending to be Mommy :)
William and the boys
The boys and me
A beautiful grizzly
William and Alex talking about the quote
Land HO!
A very curious giraffe
PANDA BEAR! (China :))!
One of Ben's favs....Komodo Dragon!
SO, my dear high school friends, BEWARE. I will be hunting you down when we head back to AR!
Love,
Eve
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Planning versus Peace
I just read "Jesus Calling" and it SO fits today and my recent prayers. We are waiting on one last form to be able to send our dossier to China (DTC) and then receive a log-in-date (LID) so that we may be matched with our daughter. The form is the I800A and is presently at the US govt office....it takes up to 3 months to receive "approval." I keep looking at Rumor Queen (www.chinaadopttalk.com) at all of the charts and scouring the dates.....what is the median time, the maximum time for approval, or notice, is there anyone else near my dates who has received the information I am so ready to see in my mailbox? Then, I can make guesses like "if I have my I800a approval by _____, then my DTC may be _____, and our LID ____....you can see the trend. OBSESSION. I have been praying that I will use RQ only to glean information as there are so many incredible topics and tips, to support and receive support from others in the same boat as me, but NOT to fixate on it!
So, today, I read Jesus Calling:
You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control what will happen to you in the future.....Just when you think you have prepared for all possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion.
Bring Me all your needs, hopes, and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of peace.
At the end I fully expected it to say EVE. This is hard for me...I am a planner. From 5th grade on I planned to go to medical school. William and I carefully planned the timing of our wedding to revolve around medical board exams. I planned for Alex, and for Ben, and while planning for Jack, "got" Jack. I wanted to adopt several years ago, but William was not ready, and God said no. Plan thwarted for the time being, but he had a plan.
I like being in control, but I realize more and more that this does not bring me PEACE. It does bring me anxiety, tension, stress, hopeless feelings, and grumpiness, which then spills over to my family. That is not what God wants for me....he offers PEACE. I know that HE knows who is at the end of our red thread in China...who our daughter is, where she is, and when we will meet her....it IS in HIS control, and I am so thankful for that. I just have to remind myself by whispering (or shouting!) JESUS when I forget.
I Peter 5: 6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Proverbs 16: 9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Psalm 37: 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this.
Love,
Eve
So, today, I read Jesus Calling:
You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control what will happen to you in the future.....Just when you think you have prepared for all possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion.
Bring Me all your needs, hopes, and fears. Commit everything into My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of peace.
At the end I fully expected it to say EVE. This is hard for me...I am a planner. From 5th grade on I planned to go to medical school. William and I carefully planned the timing of our wedding to revolve around medical board exams. I planned for Alex, and for Ben, and while planning for Jack, "got" Jack. I wanted to adopt several years ago, but William was not ready, and God said no. Plan thwarted for the time being, but he had a plan.
I like being in control, but I realize more and more that this does not bring me PEACE. It does bring me anxiety, tension, stress, hopeless feelings, and grumpiness, which then spills over to my family. That is not what God wants for me....he offers PEACE. I know that HE knows who is at the end of our red thread in China...who our daughter is, where she is, and when we will meet her....it IS in HIS control, and I am so thankful for that. I just have to remind myself by whispering (or shouting!) JESUS when I forget.
I Peter 5: 6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Proverbs 16: 9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Psalm 37: 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this.
Love,
Eve
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Empowered to Connect Conference
Do you work with kids, live with kids, ever spend any time with children? Have you ever read "The Connected Child" by Dr. Karyn Purvis? She came to Nashville this weekend along with Michael and Amy Monroe from Tapestry Ministry to lead an Empowered to Connect conference. Show Hope sponsored the event and it was WONDERFUL! Although it is "geared" to adoptive children or foster children, their principles apply to EACH and every kid I know. We talked about how to achieve secure attachment with our kids, and to promote TRUST by EMPOWERING, CONNECTING, and CORRECTING. One of the things that really got me was when Dr. Purvis asked which do you do more of every day....connecting or correcting. You know, my husband and I chose for me to leave my pediatric practice and become a stay-at-home Mom about 3 years ago. Best decision for our family we have ever made. BUT, lately, with three busy boys and a busy schedule, I have found myself CORRECTING more than CONNECTING. I have been practicing an avoidant attachment with my kids....go to your room until you can come back to the family and be nice, instead of teaching them AS a family to come to a resolution...redo and resolve.
What are the goals when we discipline our kids? How does what we do know and the parenting we practice affect our relations with our kids when they are teens? I liked and very much agree with her thoughts that when discipline is "over" we want corrected behavior, contentment in the caregiver and child, and a deepened connection between the two. Aren't we created to love? to touch, to talk, to share? To feel connected to God and to each other? TRUST is so much......
Check out the website : www.empoweredtoconnect.org and www.child.tcu.edu when you have time. And read her book. It is available on Amazon....
Love,
Eve
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