I Miss My Friend

Have you ever met someone that completely challenges you to be a better person?  Someone who completely serves as the hands and feet of Jesus, and serves as an example for you?  Someone who considers it a BLESSING to give up everything important in order to serve the least of these, and along the way, finds out that it is SHE who is being BLESSED?  Someone who truly is LOVE?

I have....and her name was Amanda de Lange.  We met "in person" in 2008 when I first went to China on a mission trip, and our friendship grew from there.  Amanda ran the Starfish Foster Home in China for special needs orphans (www.chinesestarfish.blogspot.com  and www.thestarfishfosterhome.org ).  She sought out the babies who were LEAST LIKELY to survive, and knew that she would give them everything she could in order to save their lives.  Her goal was to protect, provide, and defend her babies, obtain their much needed surgeries, and then let them be adopted.  She also knew that if God had different plans for a baby, she would give that baby love, food, warmth, and DIGNITY until God called him home.  She did this for 7 years, with full intention of continuing many more years.

God had a different plan for Amanda, however, and in January, 2012 at the ripe young age of  50, Amanda was diagnosed with Stage 4 uterine cancer.  Based on her humanitarian work, she was invited to the US to be treated at the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center.  Amanda arrived here on March 7, and first lived with my family for 3 weeks.  We laughed, we cried, we made some difficult decisions.  She attacked the cancer head on, with the hope of returning to her beloved babies in China as her goal.

Amanda never once asked, "why me?  What did I do to deserve this??"  She was at peace the entire time.  She had full faith that God had plans for her, and trusted that His plans would help the babies somehow.

We found out at the end of June that Amanda's cancer had progressed despite chemotherapy.  After a long talk, she decided to enter hospice.  10 days later, on July 14, God called her home.  I was with her at the time of her passing, along with a circle of friends. We sang to her, massaged her, and prayed with her.  It was one of the holiest experiences of my life.  I will be forever grateful for Amanda's last blessing to me, and it served to further increase my faith and my ability to love earnestly.

Her memorial and celebration are coming up August 4 in Nashville.  I have been working on her video and rereading all of her writings, looking over all her pictures, and seeing again what drew me in to Amanda years ago.  Did you know that Amanda means "worthy of love?"  Did you know that she always said, "My life may be the only Bible some people will read?"  She lived in a country where she could not openly discuss her love for Jesus, or the fact that what got her out of bed everyday to do the impossible was her FAITH and HOPE in God.  She acted as Jesus did....not by shouting out bible verses, but by unconditionally loving those who crossed her path.  She served as an example to her nannies, her babies, her adoptive families, her volunteers.....all by love.

I have to tell you.  I miss my friend.  I miss her calling to check in. I miss the way she said my name in her South African accent.  I miss her telling Florie to sit on her tiny little hiney.  I miss thinking of creative ways to get her to eat kale and not to go shoe shopping.  I miss driving to Centennial and trying Indian food restaurants.  I miss the blog posts that she would send  me from China to mail out. I miss the late night Skype calls from China, and I miss so desperately one of my greatest mentors.

Right now the tears are flowing.  It was such a privilege to know Amanda.  But, I also know she would kick my %$* if the tears kept going.  SO, I am going to put my big girl panties on, and focus on what I KNOW. I know HOW MUCH GOD LOVES US, and HOW GREAT OUR GOD IS. I know that one day I will see Amanda again.  I know I will hear her voice, and get one of those big hugs, and hear her laugh that there is no kale in HER heaven :)  What can I do till then?

I can LOVE EARNESTLY.  I can be LOVE to those around me....family, friends, and the least of these.  I pray that my heart be led by mercy, and that love is who I am.

Amanda....dear love.  Thank you for being you.  Thank you for being love.  I miss you, and love you dearly.  Save a seat for me, ok???

Love,
Eve

Seriously?! JACK is SEVEN!

My Jack is now 7 years old!  Well, as of May 24 at 8:29 am....but who keeps track?!  Jack is my JOY.  He spreads light wherever he goes.  He has the best giggle, and loves to make others laugh.  He has a BIG personality and has no fear....he rode Disney's Tower of Terror at age 5, tackled swim team at the age of 5 with never having had a lesson, traveled to China for 3 weeks at 5 1/2, snow skied down his first black diamond at the age of six, and has pretty gracefully relinquished his spot as "youngest" of our family to his sister.  He will enter second grade next year, and remains the asker of all things one can question.  "What is the biggest living thing?" (and he knows the right answer so do not try to say "whale" just to pacify him!).  "how exactly does God know what we are thinking?"  "what is 800+69+762+34+99 equal....you have 5 seconds to answer." "how does electricity come into our house?  why can we not drink water from a stream? what is giardia?"  He is curious, and loves "funky" foods like Indian food, coffee gelato, and Whole Foods fried tofu.  Jack has grown so much over the last year...I love watching him mature into an amazing, caring, tough, no nonsense boy!

The last year in pictures....(my favorite part...I love looking back!) oh, and please note, it is challenging to find a lot of pictures with JUST Jack.  Part of his JOY is that he draws others in....especially Florie who desperately wants all things JACK!

Happy Birthday age 6

One of his favs....chocolate mocha cake

But SIX candles make a LOT of smelly smoke!

Jack keeps Florie entertained

Way more than he has to!

Ready for a swim meet

Taking on the world one hike at a time

Bwaaahaaaahaaaa!

Jack loves water

and winning medals!

and being himself....fingernails and all!

He could boogie board ALL DAY LONG

Unless there is a better option!

Putt putt, anyone?

He is William's most eager helper...and oh does he LOVE his Daddy!

and bubble baths

and I often find little "surprises" on my photo booth

He loves animals and learning about them

First day of first grade

Go home Mom! I am so fine!

All in for crazy hair day...

Master creative Lego builder...he spends hours taking all of the thousands of Lego pieces we have and creates new ships

He lost his first tooth this year

Ready to pounce as his sister poses yet again

Jack's design for our Home Halloween party

Jack runs so quickly that I can barely catch him...

and could fish ALL DAY!

Making a pumpkin with a silly face like he makes. Jack has more facial expressions that anyone I know!

even when he wears a mask!

Jack thinks...about things most adults never even take time to consider

He can break out of jail too.

Jack keeps us entertained at the table

and is the BEST snuggler!

He is a sucker for cake pops

and wants to be a doctor when he grows up.  And ladies, did I mention....he wants ELEVEN kids?  6 biological and 5 adopted?  He will also have a limo to drive his family in.

A boy has to eat with plans like those!

My handsome lunch date

willing to play as others wish to play

and read to the family

kick butt at soccer

help in the yard

and rock the house for the USA soccer game!

He ran the kids' marathon this year

and loved watching the baby frogs and turtles on his field trip

and cannot wait to compete on Ninja Warrior when he is older

and brings the JOY out in me!

There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go."

Frederick Wm. Faber

           Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside.

                                    Dr. Melba Colgrove

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Philemon 1:7

 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!

My Ben is NINE years old!

May 6, 2003....9:35 am on a really rainy, stormy morning, my second son BEN was born.  Ben is my "heart."  He feels every emotion whether is joy or sadness,  to the fullest.  He has the most empathy of any person I have met...Ben is one of those boys who will have your back to the end.  I LOVE watching him grow.  He is stubborn, whew is he stubborn!  I know God has big plans for my Ben....

Last year, we were in China adopting Florie for Ben's 8th birthday.  He climbed the Great Wall that day.  He was so excited!  Starting one year ago:

The Great Wall on his 8th birthday

Forbidden City

He (and the other kids) were quite a hit in China

He took his bigger brother role seriously

A "real" Mom's cake once we were home

Being silly

Boogie boarding...one of Ben's loves

But finding sea creatures, that is first on his list

Double checking to make sure all his discoveries are safe

Off to third grade!

Seeing the Atlanta Aquarium Whale Shark for the first time...this boy is a sponge for learning!

Field Trip to Cheekwood...he came home with pockets full of flowers from the ground, and taught us about every one!

He loves to run....right at a 7:00 minute mile!

Camping....where Ben would live if we let him.  He loves the wildlife, the plants and trees, the quiet noises, and the FREEDOM

to go explore first thing every morning!

He has no fear of being teased:  " I like myself and really do not care what anyone else thinks or says."  How I pray he never develops that fear. His creativity runs beautifully now!

His first diorama.....completed by himself with a focus on one of his favorite animals.

Planning our Halloween party

Oh yea....ever since he was two, and ate too much candy while out trick or treating in the HOT Halloween night (causing an upchuck in the street), we knew we were in trouble.  He loves CHOCOLATE (like his Mom!).

Serving as Captain at the Memphis soccer tournament was a highlight of his year.  He was SO proud and took the job of representing his team very seriously.  Ben works really hard to never let anyone down.  

CHAMPION!

And, in the spring, a lil' snow cone never hurt anyone!

Ben adores animals

and treats them kindly

loving on each and every one

He wants to help our planet by planting trees

and observing how "things" work

Lego is happy that Ben exists

and the feeling is mutual

Ben is the kid you want in your house on CHRISTmas morning...he LOVES his gifts but he also jumps with joy as everyone else opens their gifts!  His favorite time is when we unwrap his homemade gifts to us....what a treasure!

He spends a lot of time at the library...book worm might be an apt description

MORE CHOCOLATE :)

Silly guy!

He cheers for everyone and truly feels joy from watching others

even though he does get tired of Mom trying to get his pictures

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my creative, athletic, empathetic, animal loving, strong, passionate, friendly, chocolate eating, night owl living, reading under the covers BEN!  This world is a better place because of you, and I thank God for you!!

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory."

Author: Douglas MacArthur