I have a picture of her hanging in my office....with the Starfish Story printed under it as was handed out at her memorial in Nashville. It brings a smile to me when I look at it, and reminds me before I go into the world each day that I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THIS ONE whether that means my own child, the cashier at the grocery store, the mailman, or my dearest friends. When Amanda first arrived in Nashville, her plane landed about 9:30 pm at night. I went to the airport to get her, and that was one of the two times that she cried here. (the other was when I took her to the hospital on June 28 when she was in such pain....). She said she cried because she felt relief, and a sense of safety. She felt comfort. She said over and over how God had brought her to Nashville for a reason, and she was ready to do whatever He wanted for her.
We went to the doctor first thing the next day. It was a really long day, and they wanted to admit her. They did, and ran tests which came back unexpectedly positive. When she was discharged, we rode back to my house thinking about all we had learned. We had to stop in Walgreens for some prescriptions, and she came in with me. It was like watching a kid in a candy store for the first time. Amanda walked up and down each aisle, quietly, and looked at everything. Her only remark is how crazy it was to see all of this STUFF in one place. China did not have that in her area. When we checked out, our cashier just had a blank, lost face. She was like a robot, doing her job, but was clearly not "present." Amanda reached out to her and asked her how she was, could Amanda do anything to help her? Amanda, in a new country less than 48 hours, completely uncertain whether or not she would return to the country she loved, where her babies lived, stood there BALD from chemo, and asked the cashier could she pray for her. Amanda was worried about the cashier for days, and we even went back to that Walgreens once, but that cashier was not there.
That epitomizes Amanda. She strived to make a difference to each and every ONE that she came across. She took the time to reach out even briefly to others. I found a poem in a devotional I am reading now, and it spoke deeply to me. This is how I thought of Amanda, and how she affected me:
Once I heard a song of sweetness,
As it cleft the morning air,
Sounding in its blest completeness,
Like a tender, pleading prayer;
And I sought to find the singer,
Whence the wondrous song was borne;
And I found a bird, sore wounded,
Pinioned by a cruel thorn.
I have seen a soul in sadness,
While its wings with pain were furl'd,
Giving hope, and cheer and gladness
That should bless a weeping world
And I knew that life of sweetness
Was of pain and sorrow borne,
And a stricken soul was singing,
With its heart against a thorn.
Ye are told of One who loved you,
Of a Saviour crucified,
Ye are told of nails that pinioned,
And a spear that pierced His side;
Ye are told of cruel scourging,
Of a Saviour bearing scorn,
And He died for your salvation,
With His brow against a thorn.
Ye "are not above the Master."
Will you breathe a sweet refrain?
And His grace will be sufficient,
When your heart is pierced with pain.
Will you live to bless His loved ones,
Tho' your life be bruised and torn,
Like the bird that sang so sweetly,
With its heart against a thorn?
Tomorrow, I will enjoy chips and salsa and laugh about stories of Amanda....it would be what she wanted!
And did she ever make a difference the ONE!!!
Love,
Eve
